I haven't had an IUD because I've just been too afraid to do it based on a lot of the stories of pain.
Last year I had to have a colposcopy and later a LEEP. I was terrified. I have a lot of medical trauma from other stuff and this was all something new and my brain just couldn't handle it. I melted down in my doctors office, hysterically crying and explaining my history to her and did the most amazing thing I've ever seen a doctor do.
She listened. She was empathetic and promised me I didn't have to do these procedures unmedicated. For the colposcopy, she did it in her office but prescribed me stuff to calm me down and gave me permission to max out on OTC pain killers. I was fine after. I felt relief that it had gone ok.
For the Leep, I went into the hospital and it was treated as outpatient surgery. I was fully sedated, felt nothing and was delighted in recovery at how it went. I can't fathom that there are still doctors that do LEEPs in their offices, its barbaric and I am SOOOO grateful my doctor listened, and acted based on my fears. At this point I would trust that woman to do anything.
I literally read this post on the subway on my way to get my IUD removed. I have already had one insertion, removal, and reinsertion and it was the worst pain I’ve ever experienced (even coming out), so I was pushy with my doctor this time about getting something better than Advil for pain relief. She prescribed me one Oxycodone to take 45 mins before removal. That did seem to help (along with a big cough on the count of 3)…but then one of the IUD arms was missing when she took it out and she had to root around again to try to grab the one left inside, and we were back to square one on pain 🤬 She couldn’t get hold of it, so now I have to get an ultrasound to see where it is and then schedule a surgical removal…ideally before I leave the f’ing country on Sept 5th…with Labor Day in the mix. I’m not sanguine about my odds here 🤦🏻♀️
I also experience severe pain with IUD insertion. When I got my first one, it was inserted by a medical student, so there were lots of people around. A nurse was there who didn't seem to be doing anything, so I don't know why she was there. Observation, I guess? But she looked me in the eye and said, "I know. The pain is real." And it was the most validating thing a healthcare professional has ever said to me.
I've worked in the medical field off and on for over 25 years, seven of that In obstetrics and gynecology. I've always been blown away by the cavalier attitude of even the female providers when it comes to pain management during IUD placements and other procedures such as colposcopies with biopsy and LEEPS. I asked at one point why nothing was offered and the provider shrugged her shoulders and said the only thing she could think of would be to inject directly into the cervical tissue and because of its mucosal nature, there is not a great response to the medication. Upon further inquiry I discovered she had never personally attempted to use any form of numbing medication but had read it was ineffective 🤷♀️
OMG this. My colposcopy and LEEP were so incredibly traumatic. I honestly am so shocked that there is absolutely zero pain management for those procedures. How is that ethical?!
Its weird that men's issues get such close attention and so much money for studies and we're over here using menstrual products that aren't tested with blood until last year 🤯 It's VITAL that we vote!
My IUD insertion last July was horrifically painful and yet I'm so glad I had it done. The relief it has given me with my very painful monthly cycles and PMDD has been worth it alone.
I was in my doctor's office vomiting, crying, and having diarrhea for three hours in massive pain immediately after the procedure, which was painful enough on its own. She listened to what I had said about my pain prior and gave me the standard advice, which amounted to an anti-anxiety pill and some aleve beforehand. It was not enough. At my next visit, she promised to believe me when I told her about my pain in the future. I've never had a medical professional repair with me like that before. I'm hoping my experience also helps her reconsider pain recommendations for any other neurodivergent or chronic pain patients she has.
I'm also hoping I have better options offered to me when I need to have it removed.
I also had intense pain when I had my first IUD placed. When it was time for removal and insertion of a new IUD, my female gynecologist seemed a bit baffled when I asked about pain management for the procedure. She said there was nothing she could do, other than to offer pain management AFTER the procedure. Despite doing breathing exercises and trying to be in the most relaxed state I could be, removal of the old IUD and insertion of the new IUD were intensely painful. Pain medication after the fact was not helpful. During the procedure, I involuntarily yelped in pain, my thighs attempted to slam shut, and one of my legs kicked out slightly. I have a higher than typical pain response, so I'm not accustomed to these kinds of responses.
Despite the awful experiences I've had with placement and removal of IUDs, I've been very happy with having an IUD for birth control.
For my first two IUDs it was a little uncomfortable, not a big deal. The 3rd one - I about jumped off the table and almost passed out. And then they tell me, oh yeah, sometimes the third one is more difficult. Didn't anyone prepare you? YOU MEAN YOU?? Didn't YOU PREPARE ME? No you didn't.
And I haven't returned to that office.
Hopefully this will be my last IUD, I'm nearing 50 for Pete's sake.
I had general anesthesia when my IUD was inserted, as it was piggybacked onto another procedure, and when it came time for removal, I asked my doctor what she would do for pain management. She said not to worry because it would feel like “just a little pinch,” and I got pretty pissed.
I reminded her that the *last* time she'd said something would feel like “just a little pinch” was for a colposcopy, and I was nauseated and trembling for hours after that. She insisted that IUD removal hadn't been painful for *her*, and I said, “But you've had children!” How is it that I know that that makes a difference, but a professional ob/gyn doesn't?! WTAF.
So, I felt so betrayed, and disappointed in her, and angry that I ended up refusing to have the IUD removed at that appointment. And then I spent quite a while researching to find another doctor—after more than *twenty years* of seeing this one and recommending her to friends.
After reading hundreds of doctor reviews online, though, I concluded that almost every ob/gyn is like this, if not worse. So I went back to the same doc a year later and let her remove the IUD, and it was, in fact, not painful. But there was no way she could have known that beforehand; we just got lucky. So my trust in her is still damaged, and I dread going back to her office, after never minding it before. But I just can't convince myself that going to see another doctor would be any better.
Institutionalized misogyny is trash. I hate this for us.
(For the record, *having* the IUD was fantastic. My period basically went away, along with the monthly cramps and depressive dive. I wish I'd gotten it many years sooner. But still with anesthesia!)
I had an HSG (similar, in the sense they also pry your cervix open) and literally almost passed out. Then after I had my baby, my provider used topical numbing spray during my IUD insertion and it was fine. But I also never dilated past 2 cm when I gave birth, so it doesn't seem like that would have helped the situation!
Disgusted by that comment by your doc. I don’t think I had severe pain during IUD insertion but it was after my 2nd child - and I didn’t know until this post that we’re less likely to experience pain. I wonder if there’s a reason for that - beyond having gone thru the worst pain that exists!!
I was left with PTSD after an aborted attempt at coil removal. I was referred for hysteroscopy which I refused (no sedation offered) ended up paying privately (UK) to have coil removed (and vagina refashioned - result of 3rd and second degree tear in in 2 childbirths) i have endometriosis and adenomyosis and have only just reclaimed my pelvis as my own. I’ve just found out that my health service has started asking people if they would rather be sedated for hysteroscopy. I now feel like I might be ok getting a coil again…
My first IUD insertion was the most painful experience of my life (and I have ENDOMETRIOSIS!!). During and after, I’ve never cramped so horribly before. As preparation I took a couple of Advil (that did nothing!), and had my TENS device on (i have a Livia, and was able to keep that on, which must have helped some, but definitely wasn’t enough).
My provider (a woman who I’d been going to for years and generally trusted) left the strings way too long though, because “if they were shorter they would bother my partner.” Nevermind the fact that I wasn’t even sexually active at that time, and needed it mainly to control the pain of the Endometriosis periods! Because of this focus on my future partner rather than my very real and present self, the too-long strings bothered me CONSTANTLY for months, to the point that sometimes they stuck all the way out of my vagina, and poked my labia very painfully. Also because of the stupid too-long strings, I ended up pulling the IUD halfway out when removing a menstrual cup. I returned to her to have her check it out, and SHE ended up accidentally removing it.
I asked her to insert another one right away (the hormonal changes RUINED my body as I adapted to it, and I didn’t want to go back to square one). She didn’t have room in her schedule that day, so I had to wait a week for a new insertion. I asked what symptoms I’d experience, and was told I’d “spot a little bit.” I had just had my (very heavy) period that week, and behold, I had a whole other period for the week I spent without the IUD. Sigh.
My therapist helped me prepare for the second insertion, and aside from the stuff I mentioned earlier, what really helped was to tell the provider not to talk me through any of it like she’d first done, but just do her thing, as quickly as she could, while I had my earbuds in, listening to a guided meditation on YouTube, complete with a visual element of drone shots of beaches and calming stuff. This REALLY HELPED. I manage to zone out so much that the GYN said I didn’t even flinch, it was amazing!
Alas, once again, the too-long strings remained (even after I ASKED her to cut them shorter this time). Months later, I moved and got a new gyn, who promptly trimmed the ridiculously long strings. By then I was sexually active and no partners were harmed/annoyed in the fixing of my problem. If only someone had, I don’t know, LISTENED TO ME??? Sigh.
I couldn't agree more. And I have an IUD. Also, I've bought all your books because you are both such an inspiration. I saw you speak together on stage at XOXO in Portland. Thank you!
I haven't had an IUD because I've just been too afraid to do it based on a lot of the stories of pain.
Last year I had to have a colposcopy and later a LEEP. I was terrified. I have a lot of medical trauma from other stuff and this was all something new and my brain just couldn't handle it. I melted down in my doctors office, hysterically crying and explaining my history to her and did the most amazing thing I've ever seen a doctor do.
She listened. She was empathetic and promised me I didn't have to do these procedures unmedicated. For the colposcopy, she did it in her office but prescribed me stuff to calm me down and gave me permission to max out on OTC pain killers. I was fine after. I felt relief that it had gone ok.
For the Leep, I went into the hospital and it was treated as outpatient surgery. I was fully sedated, felt nothing and was delighted in recovery at how it went. I can't fathom that there are still doctors that do LEEPs in their offices, its barbaric and I am SOOOO grateful my doctor listened, and acted based on my fears. At this point I would trust that woman to do anything.
I literally read this post on the subway on my way to get my IUD removed. I have already had one insertion, removal, and reinsertion and it was the worst pain I’ve ever experienced (even coming out), so I was pushy with my doctor this time about getting something better than Advil for pain relief. She prescribed me one Oxycodone to take 45 mins before removal. That did seem to help (along with a big cough on the count of 3)…but then one of the IUD arms was missing when she took it out and she had to root around again to try to grab the one left inside, and we were back to square one on pain 🤬 She couldn’t get hold of it, so now I have to get an ultrasound to see where it is and then schedule a surgical removal…ideally before I leave the f’ing country on Sept 5th…with Labor Day in the mix. I’m not sanguine about my odds here 🤦🏻♀️
PS: The silver lining being that a surgical removal comes with ACTUAL ANESTHESIA 🙌 Gotta love all these hoops we ladies get to jump through…
I also experience severe pain with IUD insertion. When I got my first one, it was inserted by a medical student, so there were lots of people around. A nurse was there who didn't seem to be doing anything, so I don't know why she was there. Observation, I guess? But she looked me in the eye and said, "I know. The pain is real." And it was the most validating thing a healthcare professional has ever said to me.
I've worked in the medical field off and on for over 25 years, seven of that In obstetrics and gynecology. I've always been blown away by the cavalier attitude of even the female providers when it comes to pain management during IUD placements and other procedures such as colposcopies with biopsy and LEEPS. I asked at one point why nothing was offered and the provider shrugged her shoulders and said the only thing she could think of would be to inject directly into the cervical tissue and because of its mucosal nature, there is not a great response to the medication. Upon further inquiry I discovered she had never personally attempted to use any form of numbing medication but had read it was ineffective 🤷♀️
OMG this. My colposcopy and LEEP were so incredibly traumatic. I honestly am so shocked that there is absolutely zero pain management for those procedures. How is that ethical?!
Its weird that men's issues get such close attention and so much money for studies and we're over here using menstrual products that aren't tested with blood until last year 🤯 It's VITAL that we vote!
Agreed. I've had both unmedicated.
My IUD insertion last July was horrifically painful and yet I'm so glad I had it done. The relief it has given me with my very painful monthly cycles and PMDD has been worth it alone.
I was in my doctor's office vomiting, crying, and having diarrhea for three hours in massive pain immediately after the procedure, which was painful enough on its own. She listened to what I had said about my pain prior and gave me the standard advice, which amounted to an anti-anxiety pill and some aleve beforehand. It was not enough. At my next visit, she promised to believe me when I told her about my pain in the future. I've never had a medical professional repair with me like that before. I'm hoping my experience also helps her reconsider pain recommendations for any other neurodivergent or chronic pain patients she has.
I'm also hoping I have better options offered to me when I need to have it removed.
I also had intense pain when I had my first IUD placed. When it was time for removal and insertion of a new IUD, my female gynecologist seemed a bit baffled when I asked about pain management for the procedure. She said there was nothing she could do, other than to offer pain management AFTER the procedure. Despite doing breathing exercises and trying to be in the most relaxed state I could be, removal of the old IUD and insertion of the new IUD were intensely painful. Pain medication after the fact was not helpful. During the procedure, I involuntarily yelped in pain, my thighs attempted to slam shut, and one of my legs kicked out slightly. I have a higher than typical pain response, so I'm not accustomed to these kinds of responses.
Despite the awful experiences I've had with placement and removal of IUDs, I've been very happy with having an IUD for birth control.
For my first two IUDs it was a little uncomfortable, not a big deal. The 3rd one - I about jumped off the table and almost passed out. And then they tell me, oh yeah, sometimes the third one is more difficult. Didn't anyone prepare you? YOU MEAN YOU?? Didn't YOU PREPARE ME? No you didn't.
And I haven't returned to that office.
Hopefully this will be my last IUD, I'm nearing 50 for Pete's sake.
Thank you so much for writing about this.
I had general anesthesia when my IUD was inserted, as it was piggybacked onto another procedure, and when it came time for removal, I asked my doctor what she would do for pain management. She said not to worry because it would feel like “just a little pinch,” and I got pretty pissed.
I reminded her that the *last* time she'd said something would feel like “just a little pinch” was for a colposcopy, and I was nauseated and trembling for hours after that. She insisted that IUD removal hadn't been painful for *her*, and I said, “But you've had children!” How is it that I know that that makes a difference, but a professional ob/gyn doesn't?! WTAF.
So, I felt so betrayed, and disappointed in her, and angry that I ended up refusing to have the IUD removed at that appointment. And then I spent quite a while researching to find another doctor—after more than *twenty years* of seeing this one and recommending her to friends.
After reading hundreds of doctor reviews online, though, I concluded that almost every ob/gyn is like this, if not worse. So I went back to the same doc a year later and let her remove the IUD, and it was, in fact, not painful. But there was no way she could have known that beforehand; we just got lucky. So my trust in her is still damaged, and I dread going back to her office, after never minding it before. But I just can't convince myself that going to see another doctor would be any better.
Institutionalized misogyny is trash. I hate this for us.
(For the record, *having* the IUD was fantastic. My period basically went away, along with the monthly cramps and depressive dive. I wish I'd gotten it many years sooner. But still with anesthesia!)
I had an HSG (similar, in the sense they also pry your cervix open) and literally almost passed out. Then after I had my baby, my provider used topical numbing spray during my IUD insertion and it was fine. But I also never dilated past 2 cm when I gave birth, so it doesn't seem like that would have helped the situation!
Disgusted by that comment by your doc. I don’t think I had severe pain during IUD insertion but it was after my 2nd child - and I didn’t know until this post that we’re less likely to experience pain. I wonder if there’s a reason for that - beyond having gone thru the worst pain that exists!!
I was left with PTSD after an aborted attempt at coil removal. I was referred for hysteroscopy which I refused (no sedation offered) ended up paying privately (UK) to have coil removed (and vagina refashioned - result of 3rd and second degree tear in in 2 childbirths) i have endometriosis and adenomyosis and have only just reclaimed my pelvis as my own. I’ve just found out that my health service has started asking people if they would rather be sedated for hysteroscopy. I now feel like I might be ok getting a coil again…
My first IUD insertion was the most painful experience of my life (and I have ENDOMETRIOSIS!!). During and after, I’ve never cramped so horribly before. As preparation I took a couple of Advil (that did nothing!), and had my TENS device on (i have a Livia, and was able to keep that on, which must have helped some, but definitely wasn’t enough).
My provider (a woman who I’d been going to for years and generally trusted) left the strings way too long though, because “if they were shorter they would bother my partner.” Nevermind the fact that I wasn’t even sexually active at that time, and needed it mainly to control the pain of the Endometriosis periods! Because of this focus on my future partner rather than my very real and present self, the too-long strings bothered me CONSTANTLY for months, to the point that sometimes they stuck all the way out of my vagina, and poked my labia very painfully. Also because of the stupid too-long strings, I ended up pulling the IUD halfway out when removing a menstrual cup. I returned to her to have her check it out, and SHE ended up accidentally removing it.
I asked her to insert another one right away (the hormonal changes RUINED my body as I adapted to it, and I didn’t want to go back to square one). She didn’t have room in her schedule that day, so I had to wait a week for a new insertion. I asked what symptoms I’d experience, and was told I’d “spot a little bit.” I had just had my (very heavy) period that week, and behold, I had a whole other period for the week I spent without the IUD. Sigh.
My therapist helped me prepare for the second insertion, and aside from the stuff I mentioned earlier, what really helped was to tell the provider not to talk me through any of it like she’d first done, but just do her thing, as quickly as she could, while I had my earbuds in, listening to a guided meditation on YouTube, complete with a visual element of drone shots of beaches and calming stuff. This REALLY HELPED. I manage to zone out so much that the GYN said I didn’t even flinch, it was amazing!
Alas, once again, the too-long strings remained (even after I ASKED her to cut them shorter this time). Months later, I moved and got a new gyn, who promptly trimmed the ridiculously long strings. By then I was sexually active and no partners were harmed/annoyed in the fixing of my problem. If only someone had, I don’t know, LISTENED TO ME??? Sigh.
I couldn't agree more. And I have an IUD. Also, I've bought all your books because you are both such an inspiration. I saw you speak together on stage at XOXO in Portland. Thank you!