I really enjoyed this post, but I am still left with a question.
If porn can be something that is adaptive and ethical, what does this mean for a relationship between a porn user and a strict non-porn user? Especially when the non-porn user wants to restrict access.
My partner has a lot of anxieties surrounding porn use and wants me to stop. They do not want me to stop because of any maladaptive behaviors, but because they think I should come to them to feel satisfied. They express feelings of betrayal. I separate my desire to have intimacy with them from the desire to have it with myself. One does not take away from the other. My desire to watch it comes from a place of exploration, self-care, and a need for some stimuli to get in the mood when masturbating. They feel as if i should feel how they do, that porn is a replacement of intimacy and that I should come to them for it. I see this idea as using them to satisfy my needs rather than what sex should be, a chance to come together in intimacy to explore pleasure. I am left between what I think as positive views of porn use and their views, which I see as negative.
Are their fears reasonable? Can both of us be right in our own way? And if they are, do I stop or is that unfair to even ask of me?
I really enjoyed this post, but I am still left with a question.
If porn can be something that is adaptive and ethical, what does this mean for a relationship between a porn user and a strict non-porn user? Especially when the non-porn user wants to restrict access.
My partner has a lot of anxieties surrounding porn use and wants me to stop. They do not want me to stop because of any maladaptive behaviors, but because they think I should come to them to feel satisfied. They express feelings of betrayal. I separate my desire to have intimacy with them from the desire to have it with myself. One does not take away from the other. My desire to watch it comes from a place of exploration, self-care, and a need for some stimuli to get in the mood when masturbating. They feel as if i should feel how they do, that porn is a replacement of intimacy and that I should come to them for it. I see this idea as using them to satisfy my needs rather than what sex should be, a chance to come together in intimacy to explore pleasure. I am left between what I think as positive views of porn use and their views, which I see as negative.
Are their fears reasonable? Can both of us be right in our own way? And if they are, do I stop or is that unfair to even ask of me?